Vessa, i drew the birthday cake on top of your head to match the genocide in your right hand

Wonerful, Beautiful, Glorious,
matchless in every way

Glory, honor, power
belong to you

these words make me tremble,tremble,tremble. i dont know what it is about them. maybe because it says that God is bigger than what i think. Hes bigger than this body, his body, their body. When i dont take my meds and i dont want to worship, he breaks the rocks to have them cry out. I am a rock. i do not move unless you move me. i do not break unless you break me, and i will not be whole again until he smooths out my edges. i seem to think i need all those extra pieces, the ones you broke off... i tend to think they are quite necessary. i tacky glue them on. i hot glue them on. i tape. i sew. i mend. but i am rock. i do not repair. i get smaller and smaller so i can be something. i can be sand. something that can be sifted. something that can be made into something. clay. i am clay. i am washed over, crushed, moldable. i am what you make me, and what you make me is beautiful. you put me through the kiln, and i cry. the heat. the dark. the emptiness. i wish i was a rock again. you take me out and i am hard as rock. i am what i wish. i am stubborn and cold. you paint me. you glaze me. you put me back in but i am hard and i dont cry. i grin. i bear. it. but i hate you. i am far, and i am sick. you take me out. and i realize... i am beautiful. i am exactly what you wanted from the start, and i surprise you. the color is more brilliant. i see that this was your plan all along, but i would never be here if it wasnt for the grinding, the burial, the cool, the heat, the cold, the burn. the hate. If only i had loved you all along.
Haley,
He is from the dump. you pick him up. say, ''hes different from the rest''. but you forget. he is nothing but trash. you change your mind over and over, everyone says he is trash. you dont hear. you listen to your "heart". your empty cold space inside that screams. of course it says you need him. when has it been quiet? so you keep him. you put your most precious things inside him and you forget he is trash. but he turns your gold into silver, your silver into rust, your rust into mold. he ruined you. he was trash all along. it took until now for you to believe it.