good news. we are only 9,000 miles apart.

i think this is what love feels like. or else its what it feels like to be a fool.
either way, i think im going to stay here for a while. it has a nice sort of aroma to it.
safety.
in a weird way.
i feel completly wreckless with you, i have no idea whats going to happen, whos going to snap, whos going to need to take care of who, i feel so unsafe...not unsafe....unsure...maybe not even unsure... maybe i feel like i belong.
with all my 'ebbing and flowing' i have a place that fits me. i have a place that moves as much as i need to. it gives me the space and it squeezes me in the same breath. its bipolar. like me.

and its not that i wont get hurt (physically or emotionally)
because i will.
without end.
but its bigger than that.
its hopeful.
its that two of us are willing to be foolish. or in love.
its that the sacrifices we are making is the direction our lives were going anyways.
i was searching for independance and the great big red start over button. and you...
you were looking for a reason. a reason to be someone. something. sometime.

so here we are... or so here i am. cause we keep forgetting this blog is about me.
not selfish. true.
and there comes a time in everyones life where they need to be true. and even a tad bit selfish.
what do you want?
not everyone else.
you.

no one forced me to go to australia. no one pushed me to the edge of my limit..and the american border.
that was me.
and i was scared to death.

but as i have said before...
i would have rather taken the risk and failed miserably
than not ever risking it at all.

this whole 'normal life' thing doesnt fit so well with me.
in school we are allowed to have different learning styles.
different ways we need to go about our education so we can all suck the marrow out of the burning skull called academics.
so why cant it be acceptable that we go about life different.

that someone does something a little different than 9-5. dinner. sleep. repeat.
someone does the "that one thing" at "that one place" while "this one time is kept in mind"

its not that im saying we need a life that is talked about at meaningless get togethers...
but im saying we should have a life worth living.

a life that we can be proud of.
so heres to us.
cheers.

oh and by the way, this morning, at the airport, broke my heart.