When I Became ED and Hit My Head...Hard.: i wanted to believe

10.31.2010

i wanted to believe

I dont know what else i can do. I guess fears are fears no matter how irrational.
well since you dont read this blog, ill just let it all out. because i guess if you did read it i would be a bit tamer?? idk. it doesnt matter.
how can you be so afraid of commitment when you have nothing to be afraid of? do i have a sign on my forehead that says ill turn into a monster after you decide you want to be with me? i havnt seen it.
just fuck it cause ive done all i can and i feel like i couldnt be loved any less.
thanks.
surgery tomorrow.
i hope you wake up.

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Kendras inspiration to me

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.