today i met my clients for PCA. Eddie and Gladys. They are so sweet and innocent. I was also told to not be fooled by them. they have a terrible temper. I went swimming with them today and when i went to the pool an older woman looked at me and came close and said, you have the perfect body. (THE perfect body. like THEEEEEEE perfect one. ) and she said that i am such a gorgeous girl. And she asked if i had a boyfriend and i said no and she was like shocked out of her mind. she said, i cannot believe it, you should be married by now.
i was shocked. She saw me as the apitomy of beauty.
I have an art project that basically says beauty is in the I of the beholder. I am the one that chooses what is beautiful. What beauty is. I choose that. What is more beautiful, the woman with the mesectamy who is proudly showing off her body in the locker room, or the skinny teenager who is changing in the stall because she cant bare to see herself naked. or the woman that has 7 rolls in her back that is having the time of her life, or the woman that wont even put a swimsuit on.
Our perceptions are so skewed. When will I be good enough for ME? when will i be able to be proud of my body and actually live?
and another thing. how would you feel if you gave all your money up to the poor and find out they wasted all of it. like the owner had this huge gambling problem and ended up making the whole company bankrupt? how would you feel?
im still kinda pondering this.
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