so far this morning i have driven across the twin cities to bring eddie and gladys to their jobs. I am surprised more and more every day with their compacity to love. forgive. heal.
they heal me. they restore me.
they talk to themselves. and i love it.
Eddie was telling me that he has holes in his tshirt because their termites in his closet, gladys got mad and said that he was lieing and its really from his hip brace. =]
today i find out which organization will be in the finals for our philanthropy project. i am PLEADING with dear Jesus to consider anodyne. that place is heaven on earth.
Heaven.
I have a hard time believing that heaven will be paved with gold and flowing with milk and honey.
1. i am allergic to milk and honey
2. we would all be fat and greedy
i like to think of it as total poverty. like its just this run down place, but we are all content because of the glory of God. Its not that we are living in the "land" of riches, but we are living in the "man" of riches. like He is the gold.
I want to love God out of desperation, not out of lust.
Yes i want to have an easy life and think that God will provide because he wants whats best for me.
Prosperity Gospel At Its Finest.
I want a shit life that i look back on and say, "God is enough" "God is faithful to me" "God never failed me"
i want to love him because of who he is. because he gives and takes. not because loving him will give me a pass through life. so i can feed my lust for materials and have a reason to have the best things in life.
i want to be able to say, through the darkest pain, God is enough.
I do not love you because of what you do for me, but who you are to me. I do not love you because you make my life easy, but because my life is a living hell and you carry me. and you hold my hand. and you walk by me. and you walk near me. and you watch me while i fall. and maybe you dont pick me up... but you don't leave me there alone.
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