it is currently 3:17 in the am on monday morning. i would like to be the first person to wish you a happy memorial day. and by "i would like to be" i mean " i am socially obligated to" and by "happy memorial day" i meant "say something that takes up room on the blog"
for some reason i really feel like i dont need to catch anyone up on my life. soooo deallll. allison and kendra are currently sleeping in my living room on the pull out bed. i made allison popcorn and she ate about 1/18 of the bowl... cute.
i am in need of watching a great movie. something that will make me contemplate life and think that i need to change my ways, settle down, become a professional yoga teacher, and travel the world. i need some kind of paradigm like that.
today was "up" but i wouldnt say manic. i was too tired to be manic. i was just...good. restless. defenceless.
i think that can be a good place to be. i havnt been in the middle for quite some time now and it makes me think that medication is a good thing.
i dont ever want to settle. i dont know why this blog has turned into some type of relationship venting...but its my blog and popular opinion doesnt govern this. I do watevadafukiwant.
i dont know what it is that keeps me from relationships. i like to leave myself at an arms length. not to close, but not to far away. there you go. you figured me all out. huh?
sporadic. so. then. theres the whole thing called commitment. honesty. integrity. anddddddd
bipolar.
one day i will expect the world from you and the other i will believe you are the greatest thing. one day i will be inappropriate and the next, a saint.
people dont bend and flow like that. people dont flex and relax with me. people are hard and stone and brick.
i've always had this assumption that whoever it is will find me. he will pursue me. he will try. the guy is the leader... he is in control... i dont carry leashes with me. im not going to babysit you... so grow up and take care of me. hah! women are so great at demasculitizing men. we give you no standards, no expectations, and No room for respect. we say you know nothing, you are lazy, anything you can do i can do better. how could any respectable man do anything else than cower in the corner, when all the women in the world have a knife in one hand and balls in the other.
Grow up. submit golly darnbits! im tired. night.
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