i dont think its being two-faced, i think its being careful

okay today should be the day that i catch everyone up on my trip. ive had some rest but not enough to conquor the world. so laying in my bed and writing shouldnt be too bad, eh?
but first.
let me tell you about my dream.
im not a big believer in dreams saying something about your life, because one of my exs broke up with me in that way... but then again how did God talk to a lot of people in the bible? dreams.
so with that side note, let me go into this side note.
my dream.
i was at a college dorm room helping people move in. but i was helping two totally unrelated guys move into two totally different rooms. the first one, was one of my exs but in the dream we were dating. the second one (i cant remember his name) was just some friend i was helping out. so first i move him in. we are unpacking have a great time and i freak out cause i see he brought a piano! i just start playing and playing music and hes loving it and im loving it, but then i leave to go help my 'boyfriend' and hes complaining the whole time and im helping as much as i can and then i see something in the corner of the room. its under all this stuff and its a piano as well. i start playing it, but no music comes out. i took off all the things on top of it and i put it into the middle of the room and try and try to play it. my boyfriend walks into the room and turns on a football game. i put a sticky note that says we are breaking up and i leave to go to my friends room.
so what i reckon this whole thing is about.. is that the piano is everything i need to build up my talents and to express myself. there are some people out there that provided be with a beautiful piano in their presence so that they can enjoy it as well. they give me a stage and they dance with me. and there are some people that dont take the piano out when they are there, and when i find it, its something i cant play. its something that wont let me perform. but the thing is, i am attached to them. i have a 'relationship' with them that i feel the need to break so that i can live. i am not bringing anything to their life and they are bringing nothing to mine.
i need to find those people. the ones that love my performance.


okay my trip. to be continued...