its done. its all over.
If there was/is any future for us...its not now.
I can still be optimistic and hope for the best... im not going to forget about it, but im also not pursuing it. Im not going to look for other guys, but im not going to close myself off either...
life is so full of choices and options.
This time i learned alot about what i need and who i am.
first off...who i am..
I am not bipolar, i am not eating disorder, i am not depression, i am not brain injury...
...and i was not ready to be over it yet. I still needed to cry about how i spent the better part of my life. I still needed things to be about me. i feel like this "relationship" was the wake up call i needed to realize thats not what my life is about. Im going to spend some more time getting over this stuff.
what i need...
someone that can be commited...someone thats ready and doing all this prep that i am.
a christian
someone who can be serious
someone that doesnt promise the future to me
someone that doesnt react in the heat of the moment
someone who doesnt make me question if i am loved or not.
I feel so much more confident in myself to be able to pick out the right person.
maybe that will end up to be kurt, but in no way is it right now.
we both need to grow up.
we talked about this all tonight and i said that idk how i love him, like in what way...and he said he feels he might love me like a sister.
obviously a totally hott sister...bahahah...but thats besides the point.
its over but i feel brand new. Im excited to live and to find the person that i dont deserve. Im ready to be the princess God has called me to be.
now i just have to figure out if i am going to go to school in australia or not.
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