have fun being a bitch.

I am confused again. i seem to sit in this spot almost every chance i get. and the usual solution is "i'll sleep on it".
Well i've been sleeping for the past couple days and i have no solution.

I always thought that in life we have choices and doors open, but i never realised how many doors could open at once. But theres a door that seems promising. and i think that door is the one where i wait and i dont make any choices for a while. Maybe its not so much a door, but a hallway. And here ill rest, maybe pace, until im ready to pick a door. Some will maybe seem too far gone and others might become closer than i thought they ever could.

choices are a funny animal. they creep up when you are so busy and full of wonder and excitement and they twist things around and manipulate them. I feel like theres so many false advertising all over them. maybe i have to think of them less as a door and more like a road system. because doors you go in and you almost get the sense in this imagery that you fall into some abyss and are floating mid cloud while wading knee deep in glitter or swamp water. but none of my choices land me with either of those so we are going to go with a road system.

In the city, we have streets and avenues. streets usually run east/west and avenues north/south. I have 'x' number of streets in front of me and I could always turn around but each street has something different, but if i turn onto one, theres a chance i will get so caught up in what that street has to offer, that i will forget about the rest, or that i will wait too long and the street adjacent will have reached a dead end and i wont be able to turn around on this one way.

enough with analogies similes and metaphors

i cannot make the decisions. I cant do it right now. so my default answer is no.
No to this new job
No to anything extra
No to you, you, her, you, him, it

if im not 100% than its just no.

just stop trying to convince me that your road is the better one. I can figure it out.

i couldnt even figure out if i wanted to cancel my gym membership so no i just let it drain the money out of my account.