When I lose myself, I lose all of you. So dont take more of me than you need of me because being selfish will only make me change. Let me go and I will become the person you love.. hold me too tight and Ill become a monster. Everything is perfect in moderation. So if you love me you will let me go. You will let me make mistakes and you will pick me up everytime. dust me off. over. and over. and over. again. until I have learned. and its going to take me forever. so dont give up. and I will try to do the same for you. because when you disapoint me and I cry and yell, a little piece of us dies. but when you disapoint me and all I can seem to do is tell you its okay and that you didnt know better. a little piece of us becomes stronger. Selfishness destroys boundries... you can only be selfish with things that belong to you, and honey, no one ever belongs to you. We stay with people because we love them, never because we belong to them. we belong to ourselves. and once someone tells you that you belong together, you are meant to run. and run like hell.
Im going into this relationship fully intent on gaining more of myself. but thats not always as easy as it seems. people become crazy so easily. We are always looking for that one thing we cant have. Like in Eden. Adam and Eve could have anything they wanted except for ONE thing. like ONE DAMN THING! and what do they do? obsess over the one thing they couldnt have when they were given a heaven. I have been given this chance to find my heaven and what do I do? obsess over all the things i cant be or have or do or want or see or touch or hold. I obsess and i forget that I was given heaven. it was given to me and all i had to do was not be crazy!
I still dont know how i feel about you. I still dont know that you care.
the hardest thing is that i set myself up for failure so hard. I say I dont want kids, no marriage, no commitments, I hang around in bars because I just want to feel something for once in my life that isnt being told to me or repeated until it feels like the truth. I want to feel things for real. and make my own judgements and my own labels and at the end of the day i want to know that im not alone. and that people are out there believing in my and letting me make thousands of mistakes in hope that I might just learn something. So hold me but dont squeeze me. Let me know you care but dont tell me you love me. keep me wanting more but dont let me forget who I am. because you fell in love with me for who I am... not because I was in love with you. people forget that the reason they are in love is because they saw something other than themselves in this person.. so when the person starts becoming who you are... its pointless. Dont lose yourself. and I promise you I wont get lost either.
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