very tired today. stress is a common theme. i saw the movie "despicable me" yesturday in theatres. its a fricken kids animated movie and i cried. i cried and cried and cried. i loved it. obviously. but it was a little overboard. i am quite moody with eddie and gladys today. i have orientation tomorrow and i am stressed to the max. i dont want to meet new people. i am not going to college to meet people. im going there to learn and get a job. orientation is so superficial too. you talk with people that look like nice people. not people that are interested in the same things as you or have a great personality. you have no idea what their personality is. its just whether or not they have facial piercing. i would rather not. im not in a party mood. i might wear all black and cut my wrists in the corner. fun.
so pissen my shit off.... i dont want to go.
i already have a headache.
and it will be all day tuesday and wednesday until 4. and at 4:15 i need to be at behavioral therapy for gladys and eddie. and then work until 9 that night. so i dont necessarily have time to 'make friends'. i have time to do whatever the hell i need to do there, and then sleep.
i have great friends already. and they will be close enough. if i can stay best friends with kurt in australia, i can keep my best friend that will live in duluth. and my other bestie who is here with me. so here is a toast to all yal. you will still be number one. because you guys are great and no one can replace you.
today i am in an interesting mood. im getting frustrated easily. the grad party took too much out of me and orientation will do the same. i will stay out of peoples way and everything will be fine.
i do not need to have this schooling experience be like the last, where everyone was convinced that once they talked to me their problems would magically melt away. wanna know why??? because i took your damn problem on myself and i dealt with it. i cannot be that same person here. i have to start thinking about what im going to portray myself as. i already had the the quiet one, the slut, and the jesus freak. whats it going to be now?
maybe the unavailable one. that would be nice. the one that you shouldnt hit on because shes not interested. the one you shouldnt invite to parties cause shes writing music. the one you shouldnt call for sober cab, because shes already driving a drunken bastard home. the one that you dont get too close to, because shes already in a world of hurt.
hmm ill do some fine tuning later.
as for now.
i have a headache.
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