a poem.

maybe its too late for all this
or maybe too early
because life has asked only one thing of me
and it is to keep-- going.
moving. producing. dancing
dance, dance on this stage that you have been given
...but i havnt seen a speed limit sign for miles
so i go off of what you said
he said
she said
(they say)
but they talk and its only words right
and they yell but its only volume... right
and I cry. but its only weight, right?
and my momma told me to pick the very last one
and my momma told me nothing good happens after one.
and its 1:37, 38, 39, 40.
...so what do I do now, life?
do i dance or do I fall
and when I fall, do I fall hard?
because ive come home later than one before
and the neighbors awake to their neighborhood whore
"she lives her life in that body,
and that soul never sleeps,
and that body never eats.
She doesnt live here anymore"
because I have been loved so severely,
so sincerely.
and now i lay down next to his sleeping body and i ask the ceiling HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE!?

...and no one answers.
and its after one.
and the sun is creeping the way suns tend.
and the snow lingers the way snow spends.
and I whisper to the birds, "its not time yet."
"Why Are You Here?"
We are strangers to this place. We have no home
Motion is our home.
and we are never alone
because everyone has to move.
at.some.point.
everyone has to choose.
and its after one.
and ive chosen to stay so many times before
and ive learned to pay in so many ways before
and its the same old tired story
and you are the same old tired whore,we
spend our lives separate, and apart, but so close you could choke me.
so tonight ill fall, and ill fall hard
because when i get back up
the bruises will tell a story that words cant
and its after one but life has a way of leaving scars
and time doesnt seem to have a say in who leaves the bars together.
3 months ago it was you.
but whos counting
its after one
its not time for math or numbers or statistics of fallen empires
and sudden house fires.
i love you and i search for those words
but its after one.